CUPS (A poem about navigating sorrow)

CUPS
By Elizabeth Vega

I once tried
pouring rivers into cups
a coupe de ta
over being carved out
by this absence of you
that had me conducting
revolutions on riverbanks,
vigilantly plucking out bitter roots
in the spaces you once roamed.
All the while searching
for buckets and bowls
To tame a torrent
Till I was soaked in this truth
I will always love you.
The answer lied not in resistance
But innovation
I would become a structural alchemist
Mixing essence and space
create a broken heart
with all our pieces contained
Wide enough to hold
your kisses
our passion
my disappointment
over this messy unfinished love
strong enough to recapture
this phoenix that hatched in my chest,
broke me open
flew away
leaving me
on muddy banks
fending off rivers
with useless tools.
But it is simply impossible
to fit two hearts in single box,
Or to hold nature back with your palm
weary and battered
I found strength in surrender
let myself
get swept away by this sorrow
pulled under by this powerful vulnerability
And I do not drown
No, I do not drown.
It is here immersed in the
Quiet void of you
I take my first separate breaths
untangle them from yours
still taste the nights
they danced
became
one heart
one mind
one soul intertwined.
It is here
I rush forward
carving a new path
Overflowing
with life’s abundant elements
joy and sorrow
loving and losing
I entertain them all
all my beginnings crashing into endings
until I become
I become river
immense like universe
unconstrained and free.